Insurance Claims

On the back is a big empty space and it says at the top "give in your own words a description of how the accident occurred". Here are is what people have genuinely put on their claim forms and sent in.
To start with here are some examples from insurance companies.
"I bumped into a stationary tree coming in the other direction"
"I bumped into a lamppost obscured by human beings"
"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I haven't got."
"The accident was caused by me waving to the man i hit last week."

Fortunately Australia has very similar rules for handling insurance claims, with one difference, they do it so much better. Here are some Aussie claims.
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so i run over him."
"The bloke was all over the road, i had to swerve a number of times before i hit him."
"I had been driving for 40 years when i fell asleep at the wheel"
"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."
On the same form your are asked a series of questions raging from your name and address, to what happened in the claim. Occasionally the insurance company will also call the individual to confirm details, or talk through incorrect aspects of the form. Here are some amusing answers

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th

Q: What year?
A: Every year.

And there you have it folks...
Thanks for visiting! :-)


  1. Rofl. They are tremendous. Thanks for the laugh Chilly.

  2. "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

    That one I can believe! So many times I've been doing 70 on the highway only for traffic to suddenly come to a stand still.

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